it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
