woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
