last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
