I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
