3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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