you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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