You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
