That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
