I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
