my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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