so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
