I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
