Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oh god it's open bar.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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