thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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