Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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