Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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