Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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