yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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