Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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