I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
