Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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