i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize