I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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