I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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