shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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