I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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