I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
