better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
