Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
