She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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