Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
