it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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