That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
