You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
