Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
