the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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