I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
