I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
