For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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