Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize