my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
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Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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