I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
