My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
