my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
