But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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