Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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