Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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