so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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