i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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