Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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