You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
