yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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