on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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