I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
