How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
