it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
