Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
