FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Green mimosas i think yes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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