I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
