Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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