too bad you live with your parents still
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
