I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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