he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
