i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
