Welp...herpes.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is wine microwaveable?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
