you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
