Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
