What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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